Friday, June 11, 2010

A Nashville Nostalgia Trip

I've stopped making mix Cds and if you are a reader of my Jive, you probably know why. I still love technology even though it has eliminated the art of making a mix tape. I've started making "playlists" to be added to the Franketeria, which is the largest gathering of MP3s ever stored on a CPU. If you know anything at all about gigabytes and/or storage space on hard drives, know takes a Terabyte to accommodate the Franketeria. If for some reason you have the urge to listen to Mantras and Chants of the Dalai Lama, you will find it here. Got a hankering for some Music of Zimbabwe? Fear not. We've got Daindiine Mukoma by Oliver Mtukudzi that will scratch you right where you itch.

My new playlist, "Christopher's Nashville Nostalgia Trip", is a musical testimonial on how diverse my tastes can be. How could someone who has a Waylon-esque hatred for Nashville Country create a playlist celebrating that same genre that he despises so much? To answer this question.....

A few days ago, I ate at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill somewhere in Oklahoma. This place celebrated it's namesake's entire catalogue by Only playing songs by Toby Keith himself. If you find yourself having difficulty getting a waitress to take your order like I did, you can be compensated with that much more of Toby. I'm pretty sure I heard Dream Walkin' twice.

Anyway, as I was having the Sirloin and Catfish (apparently a TK specialty), I realized that his songs of the 90's were vastly superior to his songs from this past decade. In the 90's, a mulleted Toby lamented that he Should've Been A Cowboy while last decade, he just wanted to Talk About Me. I think this is a quality relation when comparing the "country" music of these two decades.

Great song. Bad video. Beautiful Mullet.

So without further ado, and with my head held high, I give you "Christopher's Nashville Nostalgia Trip"...

1. Blame It On Your Heart - Patty Loveless
2. We Were In Love - Toby Keith
3. No One Needs To Know - Shania Twain
4. Just To See You Smile - Tim McGraw
5. She Don't Know She's Beautiful - Sammy Kershaw
6. Small Town Saturday Night - Hal Ketchum
7. Some Girls Do - Sawyer Brown
8. Straight Tequila Night - John Anderson
9. Carrying Your Love With Me - George Strait
10. Little Bitty - Alan Jackson
11. Two Pinacoladas - Garth Brooks
12. Strawberry Wine - Deana Carter
13. Time Marches On - Tracy Lawrence
14. I'm Alright - Jo Dee Messina
15. Goodbye Says It All - Blackhawk
16. God Blessed Texas - Little Texas
17. Down Came a Blackbird - Lila McCann
18. She's Not The Cheatin' Kind - Brooks and Dunn
19. Who Needs You Baby - Clay Walker
20. Better Man - Clint Black
21. I Can Still Feel You - Collin Raye

Where's Dwight Yoakum? Dear reader, I didn't have the heart to include him on this playlist. I couldn't do that to one of my all-time favorite artists.

I'm reasonably confident that your average music appreciator could listen to this playlist and enjoy it. I'm not as confident as I would be if I was presenting someone Chris Chamberlain's Musical Journey Through the 90's but how could I be? When I give someone that compilation, I do so with the same confidence that I'm sure the Epstein brothers shared when presenting Michael Curtiz their Casablanca script.

Great song. Good video. Beautiful Canadian woman;)

I'm reasonably confident that you will enjoy this playlist. The question is...will you admit it? I wouldn't blame you if you choose not to.

Top5 Worst Songs that I have ever heard:

5. Walk A Little Straighter Daddy (Billy Currington) Shudder...

4. Before He Cheats (Carrie Underwood) Besides being abused at every karaoke bar across America, this song glorifies its violation of Rule #3 in Video Joe's Code of Ethics.

Rule#3 states: Thou shall not *mess with another person's automobile.

Just so you know...

Rule #2 states: Thou shall not tamper with another person's food.
Rule #1 states: Thou shall not push someone in a pool who is fully clothed. Shoutout to Kirk Mike.

I'm not confrontational but if I catch anyone in the act of breaking these three rules.....


3. Hell Yeah (Montgomery Gentry) I worked at Rent-A-Center very briefly in the Fall of '05. I had to go to people's homes and repo their furniture while they looked on. Many of them were drug addicts. It was also a hostile working environment in that the assistant manager looked at me in the way Waylon Smithers might gaze upon Mr. Burns. As I was loading a refrigerator in the store, I heard and saw this song playing on all 50 or so televisions in the store. It was too much. I left the fridge on the dolly and bailed...mid-shift. I could take a lot of things but Montgomery Gentry pushed me over the edge.

2. Honky Tonk Bedok...I can't even write it. (Trace Adkins) I copied this directly from Wikipedia - As a youth, an automobile accident where Trace slammed his head on a bus and left both his arms, a leg, and some ribs broken as well as his nose partially torn off. Trace Adkins has also experienced a number of serious injuries as an adult. He had the pinky finger on his left hand partially severed and surgically re-attached. He was involved in a number of bar room incidents, and was also shot in the heart and lungs by his second wife.Adkins denies abusing her but comments that the relationship was marked by excessive alcohol use.

My point could a musician who has lived such a hard life perform songs like this?

1. Have You Forgotten?(Darryl Worley) I like to imagine Darryl Worley driving cross-country with Bruce Springsteen in the passenger seat. They are listening to the radio when all of a sudden, Have You Forgotten? comes on. It is the most uncomfortable three minutes of Worley's life as he senses The Boss trying hard not to laugh. After the lyrics, "And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin Laden Have you forgotten?", Worley cringes and turns to Bruce. "O.K. so what? I'm not nearly as gifted as you.", I imagine Worley admitting.

That was fun.



Hooper said...

So, I agreebwith your list whole heartedly and could have very easily chosen any of those songs.

Lyle said...

Been eagerly anticipating a jive and you did not disappoint.

I would say that that in general I dislike any song that:

* includes catchy lyrics and phrasing that seeks to capitalize on patriotism, a national tragedy, or a war. They give me tired-head and insult my intelligence. Before mentioned Toby Keith should receive mention for his diatribe "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue". Of course there are exceptions: i.e. Proud to be An American by the great Lee Greenwood. I believe Mr. Jivemaster will agree with me on that one.

* Includes a teenager singing a song with deep meaning. I need to envision lyrics being sung with passion endured through life experience, not being read off of a sheet.

* Is a country song being sung by a person or band not properly attired in country fashion. I mean just humor me and throw on some boots or a cowboy hat. Otherwise it leads me to believe you couldn't make it as a rock star so thought you'd just give country a Southerners are just a bunch of hicks anyway and won't know the difference. Unfortunately its worked for many...not just talking about musicians either

Rule #1 states: Thou shall not push someone in a pool who is fully clothed. Shoutout to Kirk Mike. --- HOY!


Waits said...

If only the #2 song on your "worst songs" list had been around when the second wife who shot Trace was charged. I speculate that it could have been used as pretty strong evidence in her defense that he needed to be shot. I know it would have given me something to think about if I were on the jury.

Anonymous said...

Video Joe's rules are straight on. As a recipient of all 3 I can say nothing is more humiliating and angering than being pushed in a pool clothed. This should end the party. Not for you but for everyone. Holler, cuss, and generally create as much meyham as possible until everyone goes home. The point should be made that this in unacceptable at any time. Kirk